I have often sat at a funeral just feeling numb. What can you say? And then a song will play, you know one of those songs that seems to reach past the numbness and ignite a small sense of hope. It can be comforting to hear a song that touches your pain because it allows you to mouth the words to a familiar melody when your own words won’t come.
I remember last year after our landlady (one of the widows we worked with) passed away very suddenly. Then, less than three days later, the property manager, who had collapsed when our landlady died, also passed away. Our yard was flooded with people there for the house cry. My husband was travelling, but flew back to be with the family. It all just felt like so much. The kids were coughing with some kind of nasty bronchitis. The nurse said their lungs where clear but my six year old especially was coughing to the point of occasionally throwing up. It felt so overwhelming and sudden that I couldn’t even cry.
When my husband got back and things began to settle down, we drove to a nearby beach. I played the song “Good, Good Father” on repeat as we drove out of the city just to catch our breaths. Finally the tears began to flow. The fears, the tensions, the grief lifted for a moment. What a gift to the soul music can be when life feels so raw.
What songs have helped you as you have sat with your grief?